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Posted: Friday, July 31, 2009 8:49:23 PM

Rank: Extreme Veteran

Joined: 7/6/2008
Posts: 437
So there I was...waking up at 3pm on a Friday in my G.I. Joe Underoos with the Kung Fu Feet reminicing the dream I just had about winning Worlds, which is currently ending some 594 miles away.  Man I was psyc'd up to go play some disc golf.  Just then I tried to roll out of bed and remembered that the design flaw of the G.I. Joe Underoos with the Kung Fu Feet was the mere fact it had a feature called BedVelcro...whereas you tend to stick to the bed and not get out of it.  A second thought went thru the 2 and 1/2 brain cells I have remaining to the effect of playing Wii Baseball Home Run Derby and thus remaining in the A/C, the G.I. Joe Underoos with the Kung Fu Feet, sipping on a Juice Box, eating Captain Crunch and foregoing all that sweat business.  So I did what any modern male would do.  I logged onto Full Tilt and let the winning and losing of poker hands determine my day.

Here's how it works:  $1 nine person sit n go playing turbo blinds.  This way it is cheap, challenging, and makes the decision pretty quickly.  I deduced that if I won the sit n go I would go play disc golf.  If I lost I would play Wii all day, but if I cashed in 2nd or 3rd I would have to play another continuation sit n go to determine my fate.  Bam!  Easy money..I was going to play disc golf today.  Wait?  Where am I going to play?  Time for another $1 nine person sit n go with turbo blinds.  If I won I would play...play...where?  Ok, so I decided I couldn't let my choice of courses determine where I was going to place in this mini poker tournament...so I wrote out three places: Idlewild, Banklick, Harbin/Monroe..wherever doubles was tonight...then I added another.  If for some odd reason I was to go All-In or call and All-In and lose with JT offsuit..I would play Pride Park.  Just to keep myself honest...If I won calling an All-In with JT os I would quickly drive to buy Lottery Tickets.  Folded the pieces of paper, shuffled and wrote 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and a Frownie Face.

So, 20 mins later I'm in the store buying Lottery Tickets and Gatoraide and heading to Banklick to get my disc on.  I pull into the parking lot and see two trucks and nobody in sight.  Yep, 80F on a Friday afternoon and I got the course to myself and lookie there...the course has just been mowed....virgin grass.  Two from the Tahoe, a First Run force into a 10mph headwind, yea baby, bend to the right...hook up at the end...you are down there.  Next up a R-Pro Boss, a lot of anny, get down there, hook up at the end...yea nice.  I walk and discover that the two discs are laying on top of each other...that makes that decision easy.  40ft jump putt from the outside...the crowd roars...IT'S IN!!!  Hole #2...One throw from now on...gotta make'em count.  First run Force down the middle, jog right in the headwind...get shielded late by the trees, hook up, yea baby right under the basket.  Hole #3...Stalker baby, reach back, pull, fight that head wind, lay down, don't skip, yea baby, drop in deuce.  Hole #4: Soft Challenger, SNAP! slide, ping, under the basket.  Man this game is too easy.  Hole #5: Look at that chick on the walking trail, pull out the Predator, throw it low, let it work it, slide up there, a little short, behind a tree, lay it up, lay it in...easy 3.  Hole #6: Avenger SS...reach back, snap hard, get around that first tree, fly baby fly, in the middle nice, putter under the basket, take the three and walk on.

-------> you can skip this

Hole #7: Walk up all cocky..pull out the money Challenger...and blow right by the basket, in the creek take a three.  Hole #8: Remember to respect the game, Z Comet on a hyzer flip, nice glide, walk around the corner, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?...under the basket...six inch putt and take another deuce.  Hole #9...the Cocky Strut has returned.  I OWN this hole.  FLX Drone, walk up, reach back, pull, right side, hit under the basket, skip forever...come back putt DONK! and I take a 3.  Hole #10 Uppers-3, Hole #11-3, Hole #12 headwind flip -3, Hole #13: whip out the Stalker, parked, drop in deuce...where am I? Six down...yea baby.  Hole #14: Predator, Tommie, short, scary putt, lay up, take the three.  Hole #15: Stalker, short, layup, putt, 3.  Hole #16, PURED down the middle, looking up at the basket, DONK!, a 3.  Hole #17: Forehand First Run Force, PARKED, Deuce.

-----> You can read again

So I get up to #18 tee and I'm about 75% for a deuce here.  I take out the magical Predator for a little forehand shot that is about as easy as rolling outta bed and hitting the floor.  I pull back, remember to put enough spin on it and BLAP!!! FUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.  I didn't say Fudge but this is a family friendly sight and a remark about confectionary delights is much more appropriate than an abbrivation for Carnival Knowledge.  What?  Carnival Knowledge...don't all of you have some inner fantasy about dressing your woman up as Binkie the Clown?  I doubt I'm the only one.  Anyway, I'm so far down in the hole I think I'm a Congressman trying to fix the budget and I got no look at the basket.  I'm not even thinking three here, I'm worried I may take my first boggie and I was just having the game of my Fudgie life.  So I decide I really need to put some heat on this to get it up outta this hole, thru some debris on the small trees guarding the basket and hope like hades that I don't roll down the hill.  I try this modified overhand scoopy shot that I intend to slide up the hill...throw it as hard as I can, hear it skip off of a rock and BAM!!!!  All chains.  Now, I'm still in the hole and have no clue if it stayed in or not and try to run up the mud covered bank only to slide my happy butt down the hill several times.  When I get to the top of the ditch THERE IT IS!!! IN THE BASKET!.  Heck yea...I just made the best deuce shot of my life.  I'm at 8 down.  I walk to #19 with a fudge eating grin on my face and I hear, "Where did you shoot that from..that was awesome".  I look up and see a beautiful face that seconds later I find out is named Meridith and she's playing by herself and would a 'pro' such as me like to show her how to play this game.  Yea, let me check this for a second...hot girl...playing disc golf...I'm feeling really lucky...yea..I think I'll play the rest of the round with her.  Hole #19 I throw the boring Hyzer and park it for a deuce and she thinks I'm like really talented making that long shot...but I miss the putt...Oh..I play it off like I was distracted by her looks and that I normally make that 20ft putt.

So up to #20 I got and make the gap, layup for a putt and watch Merry take what seems to be a 27 but she's still smiling so it's all good.  #21 I forget there is a tailwind and my turnover shot almost doesn't turnover....not in the water but it was a very interesting approach shot uphill with a Z Comet for a drop in 3.  So we get up to #22 and I let Merry throw about a dozen shots with my discs since it's downhill and wide open...some of which got nearly half way there.  I normally throw a Buzzz here but all I had left was a Z Comet...and with a tailwind that isn't a bad choice.  I reach back, pull thru, and it was a beautiful sight....that Z Comet held the perfect line downwind...and then it ever so gently decided to lay right in the basket... ACE!!!!!!.  I tell you what boys and girls.  I've gotten high fives, slaps on the shoulders, fist bumps, and once an uncomfortable slap on the ass..but nothing...NOTHING beats an Ace Hug and a quick kiss...by a girl that isn't related.  I was floating on thin air....so floating that I almost did the Lee Impossible...I darn near drove the hole on #23...uphill with a Boss and full of energy I put it about 20ft short and to the right...missed the putt but an easy 3.  Still feeling my Wheaties I had my longest drive ever on #24 that was about 60 short and to the right....Merry caught up to me as I did a little layup under the basket and took an easy 3.

The game of my life at Banklick. I could one day beat that score...maybe... but I don't think I can beat the events that took place today.  I asked Meridith where she was from...hoping it was local..and she told me she was from Akron, OH.... DOH!!!  Just in town visiting the family for a few days and then back to school...but first she was taking a few classes at the Ohio College of Clown Arts in Akron to help kids in hospitals while she studied to be a nurse...WHAT?  Studying to be a clown?  Oh my goodness.....

Too be continued.......
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2009 9:45:36 PM

Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 4/1/2009
Posts: 11
Location: Fairfield, OH
I dont even know what to say
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2009 10:17:08 PM

Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/4/2009
Posts: 225
Location: Land of the FREE
While "clowning" around you still shoot those scores, amazing! WHEN WILL BOOK 2 BE AVAILABLE ?
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2009 10:30:28 PM

Rank: Extreme Veteran

Joined: 7/6/2008
Posts: 437
Book 2 might be entitled 'The Revenge of Monroe' if I stand in for Eric in the morning. The Law of Leematics states that it is statically impossible for me to shoot back to back great rounds.
Posted: Saturday, August 01, 2009 2:58:05 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 144
Location: Hueston Woods, baby!
lee, you're kinda strange, man... but nice shooting.
Posted: Saturday, August 15, 2009 7:59:45 PM

Rank: Regular

Joined: 12/22/2006
Posts: 73
Location: Lebanon, OH
I loved that story! I kept waiting for the ending "and then I woke up..." laugh
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