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DiscDogNation
Posted: Monday, June 02, 2014 11:11:43 PM

Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 7/9/2012
Posts: 46
Location: West Chester, OH
1st off I want to apologize to the person this heppened to his weekend ... I will not mention you but I KNOW you will read it and it's up to you to call yourself out OR NOT ... I certainly hope this post does not offend you as it's not specifically about you but how to handle the situation(s) that are created.

Issue #1 is smoking
I used to smoke I get it ... but it felt like no matter where I turned or where I tried to walk ... even if I tried to fall behind or speed ahead I was choking in second hand smoke.

I made mention of this a few times and this person certainly did try and make an effort at trying to understand but the urge to chain smoke was certainly more prevalent. Whats worse is I am positive this person feels I was percecuting them by calling out out the few times I did and I was trying my best to not ***** all the time and simply sucked in the smoke rather than deal with the drama of complaining ... there were others smoking as well so to be fair the blame needs to be spread.

Issue #2
Meltdowns

Not sure what to say here but there seemed to be multiple holes where our pace was disrupted ... whether it was time spent searching for discs or trying to ignore emotional outbreaks I think this was a large factor in what frustrated me 


HOW do I ignore this ? 
My immeditate reaction is to try and help although by this point most often it's not wanted

should I just buy headphones ?

How do YOU handle it ?

Thanks

brutalbrutus
Posted: Monday, June 02, 2014 11:46:59 PM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
No offence taken at all. I know I made an ass out of myself out there, and its probably the main reason I haven't moved up to intermediate. I just cant seem to get ahold of my anger when it starts to snowball like it did sunday. In the future I think you just need to give me a courtesy warning, maybe that will get my head out you know where. If it doesn't then don't worry about "being the guy" and stroke me I probably will deserve it. As for the smoking, I do try to keep it away from the others, but I get so wrapped up in my brain sometimes it hard to remember. This is also a matter for courtesy warnings.
NatiBuckeye
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 8:53:53 AM

Rank: Extreme Veteran

Joined: 8/13/2008
Posts: 348
Location: Mt lookout
REC is notorious for both of these things, as well as stance violations, foot faults, lost discs and timing issues. We either get together as a group and attempt to enforce rules and make changes or move up divisions.
Dawgii
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:16:24 AM
Rank: Regular

Joined: 8/27/2010
Posts: 71
Location: Anderson Township
My 2 cents:

1. Most times its not what you say it is how you say it. Be respectful even if they are not. I try and keep things light and fun from the start.

2. Be up front right from the beginning (before play). If you don't like the smoke tell them that you prefer they don't or tell them to please take it somewhere not in your face.

3. Violations I try to get the person aside from the rest of the group and make them aware of what they are doing wrong...politely. Confronting them in a group usually leads to bad results and a "bad" card. If violations continue to occur make the other players aware of it away from the violator so they can be looking for it. Penalizing needs to be a group decision.

4. Lost discs and searching SUCKS! but it is part of the game. Someone has to speak up and be the time keeper (You best be prepared to call time on yourself)or you can be looking forever and holding groups back. Last tournament I spent a lot of time searching for my discs, I had a group that was good at helping, but I had to call time on myself to keep things moving. Make sure everyone is looking.

5. Blow ups I've been there myself but try to contain it. It is easy to say ignore them but near impossible to practice. When someone else blows up I try and talk to them (separate from the group)into getting there head right. If it continues you have to set them aside and tell them that they are making it bad for everyone. After that it needs to be a group discussion or headphones.

6. Bad compatibility with other players happens. They aren't exactly doing anything wrong but it is difficult to deal with their personality. If you do nothing it will screw up your game. Head phones are useful if music offers a good distraction. Be courteous to the rest of the group but when necessary put on the headphones.
DiscDogNation
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:18:24 AM

Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 7/9/2012
Posts: 46
Location: West Chester, OH
Brock, The last thing I wanted to do was escalate the situation by calling you out ... you were already threatening to walk off the course and quit and I could have easily pushed you over the edge ... any one of us could. I actually wanted to try and help because I have been there too, where every throw is off and it seems you hit every thing in sight ... most times I blow up inside so when you see me getting the mean mug and super quiet I am actually trying to work something out internally and not show externally whatever demons have temporarily possessed me. At the Same time Sam was having an incredible round and I was trying to help keep him on point even if it was to beat me. Next time though ... I will approach you and try and pull you aside for a sec and remind you about this ... and maybe we can cool you off enough to continue one and regain composure.
brutalbrutus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:33:42 AM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
Yea I was the end of my nerves, and if the wrong thing was said I could have gone nuclear. That might be the first time I have ever just given up on a hole and just started picking up the disc and throwing it, not really caring where it went. That being said I have a great sense of humor and if the right, funny, thing is said, at the right time, it will usually set me back on track. This is something that happens with my weekend group. We have a great group of guys that all take a ball busting in stride. Usually that will get me to calm down more than someone telling me to calm down, kinda like being told not to laugh in church I guess, lol. As for  ways to control the damage myself I need to force myself to just take the punishment of a pitch out rather than trying to make up for a bad shot with another. I did that serveral times sunday which sent the snowball rolling even faster.
brutalbrutus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:44:48 AM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
I wish I could buy a bottle of whatever it is in troy and jeff's DNA that allows them to be so even keeled.
Dawgii
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:45:10 AM
Rank: Regular

Joined: 8/27/2010
Posts: 71
Location: Anderson Township
NatiBuckeye wrote:
REC is notorious for both of these things, as well as stance violations, foot faults, lost discs and timing issues. We either get together as a group and attempt to enforce rules and make changes or move up divisions.


Happens in all divisions not just MA1. Gets to be more frustrating the higher you move up as people should know better.
sisyphus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 10:26:46 AM

Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/20/2012
Posts: 287
Location: Eastgate
Hi guys, I wanted to comment earlier, but finally got a moment. First, I'd like to congratulate Chris and Brock for both being very cool in this thread about the topic. You're both really fun to play with, and I think Chris did an awesome job of bringing up the topic for us all. I do mean that: this isn't about one incident or one player, so I hope we're all listening in and putting ourselves in each others' shoes.

Second, I know Brock is very aware of his strengths and weaknesses, and I think would actually appreciate it if anyone were to approach him confidentially with an issue, and would graciously accept a warning out there to get him back on track. He cares about his game, and about playing a sportsmanlike round out there with everybody. I hope we might all be accepting of an honest pointing out of the rules, assuming they aren't being used to 'work' us as we compete.

Which brings me to point three: We all tend to be pretty casual about the rules (until something gets really off track). I know I rarely say anything, coz I just want to keep it fun out there, and sincerely don't want to be 'that guy'. Occasionally, I feel a little guilty about NOT saying anything because you're actually supposed to. But there's a time and a place. When someone is already frustrated, it's a bad idea to take a ticky-tack issue to the next level. And quiet, calm, and confidential is important!

Finally, my 'secrets' to a calm head out there: I've got some years on many of you young whippersnappers, so that's a blessing. A lot of stuff is like Billy Crystal's character Miracle Max in The Princess Bride appraising the 'mostly dead' Man in Black: "I've seen worse!" When I screw up a shot (many, many times a round), I try to focus on the fact that there are many, many good shots under my belt, so more are coming. No matter how unfair life might be treating me in that moment, I get lucky a lot, too. And I've said it before, and unfortunately will have to say it again, "Taking a double circle eight on this hole with three ridiculously contrived artificial OB lines STILL beats a day at work!"

Thanks for the compliment Brock. I use a lot of self-psychology, but I think guys like Troy -and I'm gonna add the other posters on this thread too, actually- have a secret: though I've seen frustration in each of them from time to time, they are all really nice, generous guys!
gw0904
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 10:49:55 AM
Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 49
While I agree it is great that these guys can come on here and discuss this situation in a reasonable manner, I have to say that it is a bit unfair to ask other people to correct this behavior while you are in the middle of a meltdown. As you have recognized, to call you out by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could potentially make it worse.

Honestly, if you are consistently having trouble controlling your emotions when things go awry in a tournament (which they invariably do for almost everyone at some point), then you should consider not playing in them until you can handle yourself better. You are negatively impacting those you play with, and it sounds like you are making yourself miserable as well. If you are as genuinely concerned about the issue as you appear to be from your post, then perhaps you need to be really honest with yourself and stick to casual play for a while with the guys who know how to keep you in check. I know a few people who just don't do well in tournaments, whether it is the slow pace, the expectation to follow all of the rules, or due to the amount of anxiety the situation stirs up in them.

I wish you luck in your efforts - I know sometimes it's not easy but in the end it will be worth it.
brutalbrutus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 11:41:34 AM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
To tell you the truth the thought has crossed my mind a couple times recently. I just love the thrill of the competition to much, which in some cases is probably the reason for the meltdowns. I grew up bowling in youth leagues and then men's leagues as I got older, and just loved the competition. After some bad things happened in my life I stopped bowling, and didn't have anything like that in my life for quite awhile. Then I found disc golf and it all came back again. I've played ball golf for my whole life and don't get that kinda frustrated playing that sport. I think I need to tap into some of that to help me in my disc golf game.
gw0904
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 12:00:48 PM
Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 3/3/2010
Posts: 49
I have played ball golf for over 40 years, and for many years played competitively in amateur tournaments and such. While I can be hard on myself when playing disc golf, I was much more intense and had some mini-meltdowns on the ball golf course. My expectations were so high because I knew I was capable of playing at or under par, and once I took a couple of bogeys I felt like the round was virtually ruined. I don't get nearly as upset with disc golf because I know I am not ever going to be a 1000 rated player, so I can accept the inevitable crappy shot or two more easily. Heck, I can play another round right after a bad one if I want to, which is not feasible on the ball golf course.

Perhaps you want to succeed so badly at disc golf (having discovered something that rekindled those competitive fires) that you take a few bad holes/shots as just ruining the experience and you get really pissed at yourself for letting it happen. Once your expectations get more in line with your current skill level you will be able to handle the ups and downs a bit better.

How often do you practice as opposed to just playing a quick round? If you don't do it much you should consider more field work to develop more confidence in the parts of your game that give you problems. Also, try to play more of your rounds on the courses that suit your game better and stay away from those that give you problems (maybe you already do this).

Think about why you can keep it together better on the ball golf course and see if you can apply it to your disc golf game. Hang in there!
brutalbrutus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 12:11:29 PM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
Yea I do have a complex about thinking I should be better/more consistent than I am. Its hard sometimes to remember ive been playing golf since I was 4 and disc golf only for 4 years, lol. I actually first thing yesterday morning went over to the Amelia nine hole course and threw my bag a couple times, in the field just to try to get some good vibes. Also I needed to try out a few new discs I got to replace my lost ones from sunday.
Lingo1976
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 12:40:27 PM

Rank: Extreme Veteran

Joined: 6/6/2007
Posts: 351
Location: Erlanger, KY
KEEP CALM AND DISC ON !! This is what I tell myself every time I have a bad shot. If you've had the pleasure of playing a round with me (lol) then you will know I'm one of the most calm people out there. Once you start taking this game too seriously is when the fun factor starts dwindling away and that's really what we are all out there for. Remember there is always the next hole, or the next round, or the next tournament.
sisyphus
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 12:44:10 PM

Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/20/2012
Posts: 287
Location: Eastgate
I was actually just thinking about the mental aspect yesterday (after the usual ego-crushing we often take at Idlewild). There's a reason, on an off day, I'll go to an easy course around town: He Who Has The Most Fun Wins!

I was thinking it would be cool to get with a buddy or two, get out to a beginner course, and throw two sets each: the first is a one-disc round, using a disc I don't normally pull out, and has to be using throws I don't normally even try (for me: roller, tomahawk, whatever, just no rhbh). Play that set for fun, and throw a second set for a real score (and to keep your ego intact if there are witnesses you'll need to let play through).

You could even resurrect the 'HORSE' concept, and the person farthest out declares the second shot everybody has to use: he might be far enough for a roller upshot, which might screw up your lay in putt. Hopefully, that would cause some mirth!

So there's room for all of it: competition, practice and fun. I suggest a good balance!
Zepledelin
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 8:43:37 PM
Rank: Regular

Joined: 5/29/2010
Posts: 70
Yeah it was a rough round. Chris was very generous with advice. He helped me with where the pins were how to throw really great with me and Sam who was on fire. I could tell Chris wanted to win but he also wanted everyone playing their best. He helped Sam out the whole way. Great for the sport just wanted to say thanks to Chris for all the help during a very tense round. I agree there was no way to calm Brock down I tried it didn't go well. I think the reason none of us courtesy called him was the same as what you said he wanted it and said if it happened he would quit so we all took a little longer to throw to try and shake off the bad vibes and we spent too much time looking for lost discs because we didn't want Brock's head to explode. We got through it. I think there was a lot of tension but I really enjoyed watching Sam throw those lefty forehands and that shot of yours where it was a long right turn you were yelling turn and it did. I also liked the fun smack talk you and Sam were having. You're a great ambassador for the game. Thanks again for all the advice out there!
DiscDogNation
Posted: Tuesday, June 03, 2014 9:42:45 PM

Rank: Tree Hukker

Joined: 7/9/2012
Posts: 46
Location: West Chester, OH
Thanks for the kind words Larry, had fun throwing with you too .... Not sure I'll ever have a chance at beating you at Banclick ... great job
Discgolfnut
Posted: Wednesday, June 04, 2014 1:22:52 PM
Rank: Regular

Joined: 3/31/2011
Posts: 81
I would've called the courtesy violation on that animal.
brutalbrutus
Posted: Wednesday, June 04, 2014 3:09:47 PM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
Discgolfnut wrote:
I would've called the courtesy violation on that animal.

HAHA one of my weekend guys with the perfect response I would expect, gotta love it.
brutalbrutus
Posted: Wednesday, June 04, 2014 3:15:19 PM
Rank: Elite Veteran

Joined: 4/16/2012
Posts: 694
Location: amelia
It's amazing what a couple days of reflection can do. Shot +6 at mt airy pdga weekly last night won the rec division.
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